Saving a Life.......

This morning while reading The Lantern (OSU's student newspaper), I read an article about a guy that came to speak at OSU. His name is Frank Warren. I have never heard of him until last week's article in The Lantern. He has the following blog: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/. People send him their secrets - often on postcards, and he posts some to his blog. It is my understanding that it started as part of a suicide prevention effort. It is a fairly interesting and somewhat funny, but yet sad site. I think it is interesting what people consider secrets........but nonetheless, think it is great if this helps someone "let something go." So, while taking a look at the site, I came across this letter that totally touched my heart this morning (he created a peer-to-peer crisis center):

"I've been depressed for a while now, but talking to one person on HopeLine helped me get through the night. I owe my well being and my life to Jerry.

Jerry... if you get a chance to read this... please know that you have done more for me than you could possibly know.

Thank you for just listening and being a friend even though we have never met. Your compassion just saved my life.

I'm going to get help tomorrow.

Thank you Frank and PostSecret for leading me to 1-800-SUICIDE"

WOW, how this touched me this morning. I teared-up at my desk (thankfully no one was around). :-) But anyway........I commend every person that works on a suicide hotline, every counselor that has helped someone considering suicide, every "regular" person that has been there for a person and helped them to keep from completing suicide. I also want to commend and extend comfort to those that were unable to keep a loved one from completing this final act (it was not your fault............).

This letter also reminded me of how, one day soon.......I really need to volunteer for something like this. Suicide is such a topic that hits home and breaks my heart. If there is ever anything I could do to keep someone from stopping..........to do something to help take that pain away.......I totally would (well at least I hope I would/could). I wish more people would help and listen and be less judgmental.

I am not quite sure if I am ready yet (to volunteer at something so "real"), or perhaps I keep making excuses. Hell, I interceded and assisted suicidal students during my residence life days.........2 of of which were in the year following John's suicide, while I worked in Seattle. I certainly do not think I would freeze up, or not be able to stay strong in the midst of helping/listening (for some reason in the midst of chaos/crisis, I often can remain calm - yes shocker).........but I think I am more afraid of how much it would impact me afterward.......especially if I find out or someone would complete suicide that I was trying to help. But then I think, how selfish is that??? That I think "I" couldn't endure the heartache.......when these people are feeling something even more real and deeper than my darn empathetic heart is. I just need to get off my butt and do it. I have been saying it for 5 or more years that I want to "help" people in this way (volunteering).

So, anyway........I hope the above letter touches your heart too and reminds you how precious life is.....and how you never know how you "could be" showing someone compassion and care. It could be just what they need at that moment.

Aging......

Aging, such a strange, difficult and interesting process. Every day we are getting older....with every breath we take we are one step closer to death. Kinda of sad.....no, don't worry, I really do not think about that often. However, this weekend I really started to reflect on aging. Obviously I am getting older, and thus, everyone around me is also aging. People important to me are getting older. With the circle of life, we are born, we live life and then we die. When thinking of this.....one can realize how important it is to live life to the fullest!!!

This past weekend while visiting my Grandma in the Nursing Home, I was forced to see the mortality of each person. To see how with getting older, and possibly getting diseases it really takes a toll on your body. Some people are still able to get around in wheel chairs okay, while others have limited mobility, but with the help of others can get around. Then there are those that are confined to their beds. Over the last few years I have gotten a lot better at going into Nursing Homes. Until my Grandma was in one 2.5+ years ago.......going to a Nursing Home would be the last thing I would want to do. It made me sooooooo incredibly sad. I would usually cry as soon as I entered the front door....how embarrassing. I just felt so incredibly bad for the people in there. I still feel a bit sad when I go to a Nursing Home, and I definitely shed some tears on Saturday, but I have gotten a bit better.

So anyway, after visiting with my Grandma for a few moments on Saturday, I walked around with some family members to visit a few other people we knew in the Nursing Home. Ironically, my Great Grandma's brother-in-law is right across the hall from her. I had not seen him for quite a while. He is now 92, but has endured some strokes which leaves him not able to talk that much, and he is pretty much confined to his bed. I remember him having such an ornery personality, but not as much anymore. I also visited with a guy that use to live in Zanesfield. Even my Mom and her siblings grew up with him (they grew up in the same town - this guy has lived there for a long time). But anyway, he is a sweetie and a little jokster. He has throat cancer, and the lump in his neck/throat is causing him a lot of pain. He was apologizing to us for it effecting his speech. I just felt so bad for him. Yet again.......forced to see the effects of aging.

So, then what really "brought it home"......... I was talking to a guy that grew up with my stepdad, they were really good friends. John would be 50 next month. As I was looking at this guy, I was noticing his wrinkles......thinking.......John will never experience those wrinkles. John will never experience the impact of aging. It kinda made me sad. Not sure why.........but I felt it inside. I realize something must have been so bad that he felt the only way for the pain to end would be to take his life. So, even though I think seeing the signs of aging can be sad at times.........it also made me sad that John will not experience the effects of aging. This could apply to anyone that died at any earlier age, but he is usually the one I think of and who I grew-up with.

So anyway.....tis the circle of life. Aging is just a part of life....for better or worse, it is a part of life - a natural process. We just need to make certain to spend time NOW with those that are important to us!! Life is short!!

The Kind Life & Alicia Silverstone

I have been a vegetarian off and on ever since high school.....so for a while. I would certainly go through spurts where I might have meat if I really crave it. But honestly, I have never been a big fan of meat, and I would often think of the animals....and in high school....it also had to do with having unhealthy eating habits (i.e. disordered eating). But anyway....then after I got married and had my first job as a RD at Ashland, I began reading about vegetarian eating...clean eating....vegan eating.....and with the help of a wonderful RA found some really great resources that started me on my journey.

I think I experimented with vegan eating.....oh....back in 2002 for the first time. I would do this off and on....go dairy & meat free for 3 months or so...then have dairy again. And of course, over the last 7-8 years would have meat off and on. Again, typically only if I really craved it, and really was only in the Summer I may crave a braut (yes, real healthy meat), or I like lamb if I would go out to eat with my husband's Greek family.

I haven't had meat in well over a year and honestly, never plan to have it....even if I crave it. I have been reading more and more about the treatment of factory farmed animals....and it is just deplorable. I passed a semi-truck carrying a trailer full of cows a few weeks ago and started bawling. Yes, I know.....I may be feeling the empathy a bit too much.....but I can't help it. It is who I am. I could never imagine intentionally causing harm to a living creature. I am not able to read too many books or stories about factory farming, or testing on animals, or slaughterhouses because I know it would depress me for a long time. However, I have read enough to know, that they are treated horribly. Sure, there are some small local farms that give their animals good lives until they are slaughtered, but for the vast majority of animals....they are confined in a small stall, to stand and lay in their own feces....not given any open pastures to walk around in.....and chickens are in small cages...with their beaks often removed...or if they are still intact....they will be pecking at their neighbor because they are so confined. And of course....we have the way people treat them as they are hanging to be slaughtered. Believe me...that is just the tip of the ice berg.

So.....needless to say......I really try to minimize animal cruelty (including buying cruelty free cleaning products, make-up and clothes). Now, I am by no means perfect...as I have not fully given up dairy. But when I do purchase dairy, I typically buy from local dairy farms where I can research and know how they treat their animals. I also only buy "Certified Humane" eggs. But.....when we go out to eat.....that is not the case, of course. I do not know where their dairy comes from (unless it is NorthStar :-)). I really do hope to be vegan again.....one day soon. Which leads me to the main reason for blogging during my lunch hour today......

I bought Alicia Silverstone's "The Kind Diet" last night at Borders. I read about its release last Fall...and added myself to the wait list at our local library. However, somehow (of course), I missed the email notifying me it was in. So.......instead of waiting forever again, I decided to use my 30% off coupon and buy it. She has been vegan for over 10 years and has really lead the march in animal cruelty, living green etc. So far I have enjoyed this book.

Last night, while reading the book, I really got a first-hand look into Alicia's heart. I really am not one to follow celebrities that much......but I was honestly very "wowed" while reading her journey last night. I actually felt that we deeply shared our love for animals. Considering how much I care for animals.....I am by far a minority with anyone I know. Again, I cried while passing a truck full of cows a few weeks ago.....and cry if I hear about an animal dying...... So, anyway, it was really awesome to see her deep love for animals (I could relate...and I LOVE relating). WAY TO GO ALICIA!!!!

Beyond animal cruelty, factory farming is very draining on natural resources and creates a lot of pollution. I highly encourage people to read about this.....as it does go beyond not eating meat because you are killing animals.

Why do I do it....for three reasons....... #1 the animals, #2 my health, #3 the earth!! I am happy and confident with my choices, but I am also not one to push my beliefs on others. Now, I will talk and share if provoked.......but you don't have to worry about my pushing my convictions on you for eating that hamburger. :-)

So, anyway.....I thought I would link to Alicia's website regarding her book. It has some great information, forum discussions, recipes, etc.: http://www.thekindlife.com/

Oh.....and her book has some amazing recipes. :-) Speaking of recipes....a few of my other favorite cookbooks that I use weekly are: all 3 Vegan cookbooks by Sarah Kramer (highly recommend), and the Simply in Season book is pretty good for simple and healthy recipes. And vegweb.com has AMAZING recipes!

Okay.......off my soapbox now!! :-)

Sit Long, Talk Much, Laugh Often

Okay, so I know the picture above is not the best quality....as I took it with my cell phone. But it says, "Sit Long, Talk Much, Laugh Often." I absolutely loved this sign. It was of course, at a wonderful coffee shop - one of my most favorite places to be!! I thought that this really summed up my motto in life (well kind of). :-) As stated many times throughout this blog over the last 3 months, I love to connect with people....and I think this sign says it all. In my opinion, there is nothing better than being able to sit (in a coffee shop is great), talk a lot (and share what is on your heart), and of course.......there should be laughing at some point!!! I find such joy in listening to and sharing with others. So anyway......if someone happens to see this sign some place for sale (preferably a smaller version), please let me know!!! :-)

Pictures......

I honestly think that whomever invented the camera is one of the smartest people to ever live! I have always loved photographs. I got my first camera when I was 6...turning 7. I still have the first pictures I took on our trip to Marietta. This was before my parents divorced, and probably the last trip we took as a family. We had a boat and took it down around Marietta on a river. I do remember going through the locks on the river...thinking that it was pretty neat. However, I also have the photos to prove it. :-) It is a bit strange because for some reason I do not remember much before my parents divorced (I was almost 8), but I feel like when I look at old pictures they do help to "jog" my memory. Of course, these pictures from the trip to Marietta certainly do. But I have also looked at my Mom's old albums to help me remember things like.....a parade that I was in when I was 3'ish. I was in a little wagon pulled by goats, and my hair was in blond pigtails. My mom also has a picture of me with a kitty on our deck, and I guess I named it Miss Kitty. The pictures also remind me of birthday's through the age of 7. I am thankful that my Mom kept albums of us.

So anyway, I started appreciating pictures at a young age. I have quite a few photo albums of my own from that age of 6/7 through high school. Then when college began I started accumulating 1-2 per year!!! :-) Ironically, I haven't printed any pictures or made a scrapbook since 2004/2005 when we lived in Seattle (I keep saying I am going to start again). However, I certainly have not stopped taking pictures.......they take up a lot of space on our computers (or so my husband reminds me often :-)).

In college I took a photography class that I absolutely loved. That was the point when I started to appreciate pictures for more than just remembering occasions, but also to appreciate the beauty around you. I know from time to time I try to capture the beauty around me in a picture, but the picture never quite comes out as good as what you see.......

I am so thankful to have pictures. Being a very practical person, I feel that in a way they are your memory (I know they have been mine). A glimpse of the present and past that can bring one comfort, joy, thankfulness........ It helps me not forget someone, or maybe it is better said, it helps me not to forget exactly what someone looks like. And not forget about those amazing times together....... I have been known to carry my camera with me, just in case there will be something I need to photograph. However, I most always take it to social gatherings, especially celebrations. I love to capture the happiness of people in the moment......and just see people smiling at the camera for those posed shots. I love to photograph people that are important to me, or times that are important.

I have learned the preciousness of human life, and how you do not know what tomorrow may hold. Through these pictures I will be able to remember exactly what someone looks like and remember the good times we had together. The pictures will always be there, and if at any point I think I am beginning to forget the good times.....or what they were wearing on that special occasion......their eye color......the contour of their smile....all I have to do is bring out that picture to bring back those detailed memories. Pictures - one of life's greatest gifts!!!!

People are like stained glass windows.....

I am feeling a bit reflective tonight. Maybe it is because I am stuck inside because of the nasty weather??? :-) But anyway, one of my favorite quotes is the following:

"People are like stained glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is light from within." -Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

I actually first read this quote a couple of years ago. It completely resonated with me as soon as I read it - I loved it!! It gave me goose bumps!! First, I completely liked the mental picture of people being like stained glass windows. I think that stained glass windows are beautiful.....and I think people are beautiful. :-) But I also think that our lives are like a stained glass windows, in that our lives are full of color and variety. Each person is special and we have had a myriad of experiences that make us unique. We are all made up of many complexities, they can be good and bad - but nonetheless "are". I think that these complexities and unique experiences are part of the "color" of our lives (the stained glass window). All of our strengths, our weaknesses, our happy times, our struggles.......they all represent different colors and are parts of who we are. We would not be "beautiful" without these. We need to embrace all that we are, and remind ourselves that we are beautiful and unique just the way we are. Of course.....we always (well at least I do) strive to improve upon our struggles or weaknesses, but I also think there is beauty in recognizing them and being "real" about them. Being "real" about WHO we REALLY are!!!

Which kind of leads into the second aspect of the quote. Of course, each one of us are beautiful....and our beauty is in our colorfulness or uniqueness (in my opinion). We often do sparkle when the good things about us are showing....when we are able to keep that smile on our face.....and continue to be a nice person......but as we all know, we cannot sparkle all of the time. There is going to be darkness, whether that be that others recognize an obvious weakness or struggle within us, or it could be something darker..... But I think that in recognizing, and of course, being authentic in the midst of that "darker" time, that is when we are really able to show our true beauty. The true beauty (part of the color) can be noticed when people are "real", when we show we have weaknesses, and when we show that we are not afraid to talk about them (part of the light from within). Or perhaps the true beauty is recognizable because we allow others to see us struggle with something, but they also see us learn in the midst of this struggle.......and in that journey the beauty is apparent. Or perhaps the beauty is noticeable once that person has come through that darkness............. Whew!! I get so excited about learning, growing, and becoming more self aware!! :-)

Even though I do think that people are like stained glass windows.....I wonder what that stained glass window looks like? Is it a stained glass window that is in progress....so maybe there are a few areas on that window that have not been painted....but will be at some point during this life journey?? Or is it a stained glass window that is completely painted......but through this life....some parts will turn into different colors as we evolve and change???? Regardless, what a beautiful thought!!!!

I hope that this particular blog makes sense. :-) It often makes sense in my head as I reflect......but I struggle to put it into words. I think that I am sometimes better as I reflect with others....and verbally discuss a topic (sorry about the grammatical errors in this one too!!!!).

Need to change....

So, I have kept from openly blogging about this for a week, just to get absolute results....but they have officially determined that my great grandma has bone cancer. She is the only great-grandparent that I have living. Yes, I am very fortunate to have met all but 2 of my great-grandparents in my life. I guess that is what happens when both of your parents are the oldest and I am also the oldest. But nonetheless, am thankful. We got the news last week that they thought it was cancer, but wanted to do more testing. So, yet again I am left feeling so many emotions. I feel sad for my grandma, and the fact that she has to deal with this (she is currently in a lot of pain).....but feel anger because of how much cancer impacts our lives. And at the same time, I feel happy that she has lived a long life.....she is 88!! What an amazing feat in itself!!

It was only 4.5 years ago that she had to watch her son (my grandpa) battle and die of cancer....and now to be faced with the same disease. Life just isn't fair. Thankfully, she has three amazing daughters that have been there with her at the Nursing Home over the past week (she has lived on her own up until this past week). I am also thankful that I was able to visit her this past weekend. Below are a couple of pictures from this past weekend.

A picture of the twins with their great-great grandma!!

My brother, Shane and I with grandma.

After talking with my mom this past weekend, I also found out that 2 other family members have had cancer. That really got me thinking, hmmmm............my brother had testicular cancer, my grandpa died of cancer, my great-grandma currently has bone cancer, my other great-grandma did have breast cancer (but thankfully did not die from this), and then 2 other family members had cancer (a great aunt, and a great-great aunt). That is six relatives right there.....maybe I need to be doing something to be as proactive as possible about my own health. Granted, I feel I eat fairly healthy (eat mostly preservative/additive free, and do not eat meat) and I do exercise.....but I have decided to try to do more research on this topic....and determine what foods are better for you to eat, and what foods are good to avoid. Obviously, I realize this is not the only reason a person gets cancer.....but I feel like it is my responsibility to be as "responsible" as I can for my own health. I will keep you updated on what I find.

And thank you for your good thoughts....as our family will need them over the next few months....

Reflection of 2009.........

Happy New Year!! It is hard to believe it is 2010. I thought to honor the New Year....I would reflect on this past year.........

One of the things that I am most proud of is that I completed jogging in a half-marathon!!! :-) I hope to do another one this upcoming May. I have wanted to do this for at least 5-6 years.....and with the encouragement of a great friend decided to go for it. I began training with a group every Saturday morning called MIT (Marathoners In Training). It was a great way to get me started and know I could do it. After I worked up to running a 7-mile long run, I had a couple of friends tell me about the Jeff Galloway Approach.....and it is amazing and worked very well for me!! He highly recommends walking breaks at certain intervals, as it can make you faster and assist with recovery. I must say it definitely helped me. I would run for 4 minutes then walk for 1 minute and repeat that throughout my long runs on Saturday's. I also did this for the entire 13.1 miles for the Cap City Half-Marathon!! I noticed that my times did improve with this approach, and I was rarely sore the next day after a long run. Even after I completed the half-marathon (I was really sore that Saturday afternoon/evening), but the next day I felt great. I also ran, well, really jogged in a couple of other races this past year including, The Race For the Cure, The Columbus Crew 5K, and The Flying Feather 4-miler on Thanksgiving. I am thankful that I am able to get out and jog....and hope to continue to improve. Thank you Jennie for being such an encouragement and running partner!!!

I have been teaching online at Franklin University for a year and a half, but this past August I also decided to try teaching a few face-to-face (onsite) classes. I really enjoyed this. I wasn't quite sure how it would work for me as Franklin University is mostly comprised of adult learners....and online they do not know your age. However, seeing me in a face-to-face classroom, I wondered how it would work considering I would be younger than the majority of my students. But I really enjoyed it and it actually went well. I am teaching another face-to-face this Winter Trimester and an online class. I am thankful that I am able to stay connected to Franklin and work with these students! I just do this as an "extra", but great part-time job!!!

Matt and I celebrated our 8th wedding anniversary on May 26th......but have been together for almost 12 years now. How time flies! It is at times like this when I think of how long we have been married......that I start to feel old. :-) We took a week off from work this Summer and traveled to one of our favorite cottages in Berlin, Ohio. It was pretty relaxing considering how busy our Summer was. I really hope that we can make it back to Seattle, Washington again this upcoming Summer....but we shall see. I also really want to visit New England too.......hmmmmmmm

I was also in Matt's sister's (Beth) wedding this past Summer (well we both were). She and her husband live in Texas. But it was a very nice wedding in the Park of Roses. We also enjoyed a yummy wedding rehearsal dinner at The Happy Greek. Then Beth and Eric went off to GREECE for their honeymoon - so jealous!! Matt's dad's family is from Greece. They were able to visit their family on the island of Poros and travel to other parts of Greece. I would love to think one day we will make it there. Oh to dream...........

My brother's twins turned FIVE this past September!! I cannot believe these little cuties are 5 years old!!! I had a great time at their birthday party. It is great to see them growing up and developing their own little personalities. Miss Emmi is a little sassy girl......but so much fun. Jay is a sweetheart......and is about a foot taller than Emmi!!! I love them so much!!

It was also nice to see my Grandma Dowell making improvements at the end of this year. The last few weeks of 2009 were amazing with her.....watching her talk more.....and be able to stand with just a little help from my Grandpa. She is such an amazing person and my hero!!!! I love her!!

I am also happy to say that my brother is still cancer-free!!!!! I am always so thankful after he gets a clean bill of health after each of his check-ups......I sincerely hope they continue to be free of cancer. I love you Shane!!!

I love my job advising students at OSU, and I am thankful for the new friends I have made while working at OSU. I look forward to seeing each of those friendships flourish. I am thankful for the diversity that OSU possesses!!!

I am also thankful for all that I learn from others, from reflection and reading difference sources. I love to see how my thoughts and views have changed over the years, especially this past year. I am very passionate about equality for all people....and I like to see how this is something that I have become more aware of and more empathetic too. Columbus is such an amazing city to live in.....it is pretty diverse and there are so many different events and ways to get involved. I am thankful to have my eyes and heart opened to things I may never have experienced had I chosen a different path. I am sure a blog will come soon explaining in more detail what I mean. :-)

As usual, I am so thankful for my friends and family. I feel like 2009 was a busy year and a year that I was able to spend a lot of time with friends and family. As stated before in a previous blog....I am thankful that as we get older my siblings and I get closer. This makes me happy. :-) I am thankful for the time that I was able to spend with my parents (including step parents), grandparents, siblings (and their families), extended family and all of my amazing friends!! I love all of you!

Happy 2010!! May this year be an amazing year for all!!!