Okay.....so....I am soooooo over my empathy!! ;-) I am ready for it to go away. I am tired of it making me feel pain in my heart.....making me sad....and just exhausting me. Stop....stop!! ;-)
I suppose I already knew this, but as of recent I was reminded, I would SOOOO RATHER have something "bad" and "hurtful" happen to me rather than have it happen to someone I really care about. Watching something bad/sad happen to someone I care about is soooooo much harder to me than actually having it happen to me. GOSH....I feel their pain so damn deeply. Ugghhh....... Lately I have watched a couple of people I care about have horrible things happen in their lives, and this second situation has just sent me over the edge. These two people are so important to me and I hate to watch them feel pain and endure such horrible things that are not fair and that they do not deserve. I love these girls and it sucks...... Life is sooooo not fair.
Again, as I said the other day, I know this empathy thing can be good....but I am not seeing much of the benefit as of recently. I don't feel that I have been able to be as supportive as I should since I am feeling such intense pain internally.....that no matter how hard I try, I do not feel I can comfort this person the way that I should. Then....that makes me feel even worse...... Uggh.....why oh why.....
And for the first time since last Autumn.....the panic attacks have been occuring over the past 2 days......GO AWAY anxiety!!! You are not welcome!
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