Secrets........

I know I have blogged about this before, but every week the PostSecret website posts new "secrets" others have submitted via postcards.  I love reading these as I find them interesting, sad, sometimes funny......and often there are few (or sometimes many) that touch my heart.  I like the idea of this site for those that feel they cannot share their "secrets" with others, but at the same time it makes me sad that they may not have anyone to share these "secrets" with.  I don't like how as a society we can seem so closed-minded and judgmental that people, our friends cannot come to us with problems they may have.  But anyway.......I shall not digress on this rant.  Instead, I want to share a few "secrets" that I found tonight in an archive that impacted me....

So, this first one I completely loved as I truly believe that is true about many people.  For some reason I have thought this since well before college.  I think it is one of the reasons I love people and getting to know them.  There are some people that come into your life that you know have more depth or really just need someone to care about them and allow them to talk and share. 

Hell.................if I am completely honest with myself.......I have felt this way often lately.....for one of the first times in my life.........(have felt the above postcard) 

I liked this one as I am sure that many can relate.......  Sometimes there can be soooo many hard and difficult things that take place in our lives......that we just want the pain to stop.  We just want to feel numb, WE are tired of the pain........and yes I say WE.  So.......my encouragement and reminder to myself is to be there for your friends and for even random people that come into your life....

Yes, I know this one is a bit graphic.  But nonetheless, one that touched me.  Suicide still pains my heart so deeply.  Not even just because I have dealt with losing someone to suicide firsthand, but just because I HATE to see people hurt.  The above secret is one of the BIG reasons I WILL NEVER EVER own a gun.  I do not judge those that do own guns, but personally, I will never ever allow a gun in my house.  Granted, they also just plain scare me too........but the above secret is another reason why....

I absolutely loved this secret!!  I love to see happy and confident people....I mean not someone that is overly confident, but someone that has a genuine heart and believes in themselves!!!  I hope that the person that submitted this secret does change the world!!  Although, I am already 100% confident they have changed the world for someone in his/her life!!!  <3

I just loved this one......it made me happy and sad at the same time.  I love hugs and think they are so very powerful.  I know often within family settings it is just expected.  However, I typically do not hug someone unless I really mean it as I think a HUG is something very powerful.  It is a sign (for me) that I truly care about that person.  I also love hugs because they make me feel happy and important....even if the person doesn't view them as quite as big of a deal as me.  ;-)  But yes, often....I agree....there are sometimes those hugs from important people.......and I just don't want to be let go......

I could upload soooo many secrets that are amazing, but I also liked this one......and I couldn't agree more or have said it better.  YOU truly never know how often your kindness can impact someones life.  Granted, I have never been suicidal, but I know how much some peoples kindness and listening ear have made me feel soooooooo much better.  To know that people care is one of the best things in this world. 

So, again, I say this as a word of encouragement and a reminder for myself........love and care about others and DON'T BE AFRAID TO SHOW IT (in whatever way that may be)!!!

Empathy......People Pleasing.......blogging some frustrations.....

So, I have often had this love-hate relationship with this "empathy" ability that I possess.  At times I am thankful, in hopes I can listen and comfort those in need.  However, other times it is soooooooooo hard because I allow others to impact me way too much.  Though, maybe that really isn't what is suppose to happen with empathy, maybe I just don't know how to control this emotion/ability (if that is what you would call it).

I was trying to search for some quotes that helped evoke some emotion and or thought to explain what I am thinking/feeling........here is one:

"Tenderness and kindness are not signs of weakness and despair, but manifestations of strength and resolution." ~Kahlil Gibran

Unfortunately........I don't always feel this way (i.e. weakness).  Sure, sometimes I am thankful in that I hope to be able to show some people.....maybe even those that others do not show that kindness to (i.e. others don't think these people deserve comfort), because I am able to "feel" the emotions that they are feeling.  I often find it a bit "freakish" that I am able to take on their emotions even if I haven't experienced their particular situation.  Sure, it can be exhausting at times, but again, I love to help people and if me being able to somewhat "feel" what they are feeling......I hope that I can provide comfort.

But on the flip-side, there are times I hate feeling and worrying about others.  I hate when I can witness that some people are not happy......because then it can ruin how I feel.  Perhaps what I am saying is a bit different than empathy.  But I do not like to see someone upset.....even if it has nothing to do with me.  I guess perhaps it comes back to this entire people-pleasing aspect of myself that I sooooooooo wish I could get rid of.  So often, if someone is trying to be hurtful........I just want to be able to say "who cares"........I will not allow their unhappiness to impact me (especially if it is not my fault), but I am not able to do this.  So, I somewhat think this is partially my empathy because I know that someone is upset........and I cannot fix it.  ughhhhh  Please let me preface, when talking about this paragraph, I am talking about someone that may be unhappy for no reason.....someone I am close to, that perhaps may just want my attention.  Of course, for the most part I am always here to help others.....but I have come to notice, that (maybe subconsciously) people know I am impacted by the way they are feeling so they use this to their advantage......to get my attention.....(or at least this is how I feel).

So, of course, one other quote:

"When you listen with empathy to another person, you give that person psychological air."  ~Stephen R. Covey

This particular quote shows who I do like (well most of the time) to use my empathetic ability.  I like to be there, to listen and to help others........  It is nice to listen to someone in times of need.......and I hope that my tenderness and kindness (as listed in the quote above) is a comfort to them during whatever they are experiencing......

I just need to learn how to listen and empathize, but not worry about taking on others emotions to the detriment of myself.......and I need to learn to not always worry about damn people-pleasing.........

Phewwwww......okay, feel a tiny bit better getting that out.  ;-) 

A Quote For Today!

Sooooo.....it has been a long time since I have last blogged.......I haven't had much I have felt like sharing lately.....for better or worse.

So, tonight I felt like finding a quote that touched me.........after searching, here is a simple one I found:

"To live is like to love--all reason is against it, and all healthy instinct for it." ~Samuel Butler

I really liked this one! Isn't it the truth.......when I think of love......to love anyone means that you must make yourself vulnerable.....allow for rejection, hurt, rough times.....so many reasons to hold a distance....or abstain (but yet loving others is soooo completely worth it). And as people (or at least for myself), we (I) truly care about people and enjoy learning to love others for so many different reasons, despite the possibility of hurt. I can think of many different people in my life and why I love them, I love them for many different reasons. I love them for "who" they are. I appreciate genuineness and uniqueness in people......people who are honest and love life. Now, even though as of recent I have been a bit more "guarded" as a person, this has not taken away my love for others.....nor has it kept me from learning to love and continuing to love people.

Now on the other side......life is kinda like that too. I think that it can be sooooo hard. There are so many bad things going on around us....so many suffering......so much pain, it can make one question....what is the point?? But clearly our bodies know to continue to live.......we breathe without even realizing it. The majority of us continue on, even in the midst of difficulties. I love nothing more than to see those strong people that have come through so much adversity and still keep plugging on through life.....sharing with others....educating and helping others with their wise perspective.

To which leads me to another quote I read this evening that goes along with the above thought.... "The more difficulties one has to encounter, within and without, the more significant and the higher in inspiration his life will be." ~Horace Bushnell

The thought of this just makes me smile. I am thankful that every once in a while I am fortunate enough to meet someone like this. Life......such a long and hard road......but one with sooooo many rewards. ;-)