However, anyway, as many of you know, I L-O-V-E the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator). I was first introduced to it as a RA at Malone College (well now University) in Canton. I was sooooo incredibly happy to be chosen as a Resident Assistant and couldn't wait to live on a floor, foster a community, plan events, connect people and truly invest in others. It was a dream come true! I TRULY TRULY believe in community. I had such an amazing experience serving as a RA at Malone, I might add.....and still keep in contact of many of the wonderful woman that lived on my floor that year (thanks to Facebook). They were soooooo much fun. They were a rowdy, fun and a loud bunch......so once quiet hours began.....they knew to take off running of they heard my door open. It was an on-going joke. Oh, they were so fun. But anyway, this was when I was first introduced to truly understanding myself via the MBTI. I think that I did actually begin this journey when I became friends with Steph my freshmen year at Malone (our first day). We just had this instant connection.....one that I cannot understand and doubt will ever happen to me again in my lifetime. It was such a blessing.....and we were so fortunate to be in each other lives for quite a long time, including serving as RDs at Ashland University together for 2 years, (something I will always be forever thankful for - our time of self-reflection and discovery together). But anyway.......being completely open and honest with her.....someone who cared about people, was intuitive and wise......this was able to help me process and understand myself. Then comes this MBTI.....I didn't necessarily "buy into it" at the time.....I was 21......but yet, did notice that the results did parallel my personality fairly well.
It wasn't until I became a Residence Director at Ashland University (right out of undergrad), that we used this in our RD and RA training. I FELL IN LOVE as it really helped me to understand myself.....my strengths, my weaknesses, my abilities.....my limitations....why "I am the way that I am"!!! Oh wow.....how nice is this. My personality is neither right nor wrong.......it is just "who I am"!!! I am unique, just as others are unique and have differences......and the goal in this life (or at least in my life) is to bring about harmony in the midst. Helping one another to understand our differences....appreciate them.....bring about harmony (as much as possible, and if that person is mature enough) and then move-on.......
Yep, I was a VERY strong ESFJ.......which of course, has its good and bad aspects! I think it worked fairly well while working in Res Life.....as I enjoyed being with people, caring for people and was pretty organized. Now, I would depend on others to help me think big-picture and brainstorm holistically about how we can help students...... Now, my experience at SPU was a bit difference, I felt that the "S" aspect of my personality held me back a bit.....it was just a little different there. In my opinion, the "N" aspect of the personality was valued a bit more......they were all very talented in thinking big picture. So, I did feel a bit insecure in that aspect.....but still learned a lot through it, and loved my colleagues at SPU.
However, I must say that in an interview, if anyone knows anything about the MBTI......they pretty much guessed my type immediately (happened to me more than once).......so clearly I am fairly transparent. I suppose that is okay....... I certainly aim to be genuine.......
Now......I come to the main thought and intention of this blog. Over the last few weeks-month......I have noticed myself "shying" away from some social opportunities. I am always "usually" the first to "jump" at any social opportunity.....and I do have a diverse amount of friends.....so can stay fairly busy. But......and it has nothing to do with them.......but I have had hardly any energy to invest in important people in my life....which SUCKS. I care about my friends and those in my life.....and have still been able to spend time....and listen.....but no I don't have much energy to put forth (aka....not sharing much about me). Recently I have noticed myself turning down some social opportunities....which 1. makes me feel bad to do this to them (yep I am a people-pleaser) and 2. makes me not understand myself, because turning down a social opportunity is not like me. I am not even sure the last time I really initiated a social outing....other than the Nickelback outing with my siblings......
To many people, this may not seem like a big deal, but I notice that it is not the "usual me"....I am an extrovert that ALWAYS wants to be around people (that is how I gain my energy). I am certainly still a talker.....and LOVE my job and the people I work with...so have no problem interacting and being social........
But then I started to reflect when was the last time this happened to me (feeling more introverted)......since you know I am an "E" on the MBTI......have I "ever" not operated like an "I"?? Yep, it happened when I lived in Seattle. I remember John's suicide, my Grandpa being diagnosed with cancer, living far from friends and family, starting a new job......really caused me to operate more like an introvert (I am sure due to being emotionally exhausted and depleted). Now, don't get me wrong....there is NOTHING wrong with this, but whenever I notice myself doing something a bit out of the "typical Amy" I begin to ponder and reflect.
So.....what is going on with me.......I kinda "think" right now....do to some circumstances......I am definitely an emotional introvert......feeling depleted emotionally. I don't really share how I truly feel about "stuff" with anyone........so I think that part of me is much more introspective and introverted (which is sooooo bizarre to me.....not typically me - but that is okay). However, I also think that I may be a "tiny" bit of a social introvert right now too......as sometimes it has been hard for me to muster the energy to go to some social events as of recent. Now of course, as soon as I get there I always have a good time, because lets face it......I am/can be loud and do enjoy laughing, talking and visiting with others......
So anyway.......no answers......just a reflection...... I know that the MBTI gurus say your "type" doesn't change (well unless you are on the fence in some of the categories.....but I really am not). But I must say from personal experience, depending on what you are experiencing in your personal life.......you may begin to take on the "form" of another type (I truly believe this....because I trust my personal experience). I don't think this will last forever.....but definitely for the time being.......
Hmmmmm......... ;-)
Of course.....a little picture from PostSecret:
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