I wish I could.....turn off that emotion chip!

So, Matt was watching a show of Star Trek the other night, and at one point, Captain Picard (and NO, I do not watch Star Trek), but Captain Picard says......"Data perhaps now you should turn off your emotion chip." Data is a robot.....that was given an emotion chip that I guess....could be turned off. Anyway, I was only slightly listening as I am sure I was on the laptop.....but I thought to myself......OH HOW I LONG TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT!! I would LOVE to be able to turn off my emotions.

Sure, I need to be thankful for the person I am, and confident in my strengths and be aware of my weaknesses and how I want to improve them. Granted....I am certainly one that is more focused on the strengths of others....but I still recognize my weaknesses....and what I want to improve in myself. However, EVERY SINGLE day, I am reminded of how sensitive I am and how I struggle to bury my emotions.

Now perhaps burying is not the best word, because in NO WAY, shape or form would I encourage anyone AT ALL to bury emotions (I love listening to others). I truly am an advocate of talking/processing/sharing your feelings regardless of what they are (negative or positive). However, I sometimes find it hard to decipher what I am feeling and what I should just ignore.

I feel things SOOOOO deeply and they impact me so much. Is there a way I can change this (am I just immature)? I have wondered this for most of my life.....but especially from high school on....and definitely in the last 5 or so years. I know at times I should be thankful that I am "in touch" with my feelings, and that I can often times empathetically "feel" others emotions, and that I can be compassionate. However, sometimes I feel so many things so quickly and so deeply that it can be hard for me to process. Sure, I could process them verbally and quickly with certain people.....but that usually is not a possibility (nor would I want to put them through that). So......instead.....I am left.....feeling so drained and confused trying to process these darn emotions I can feel sooooo deeply. At times I feel like a freak. :-)

So, all of this to say, I soooooo wish I could be like Data in good ol'Star Trek and be able to "turn off that (my) emotion chip." Oh, how much easier life would be if I could do that!!!! :-)