The Mask

Every week I read the PostSecret website.....it ALWAYS touches my heart. Sometimes it makes me sad, sometimes it encourages me.....but most of the time it makes me want to help. I want to be the kind of person that "helps" people - I am a helper. I enjoy being able to do that (the empathizing side of me helps). I hate to see people in pain, or people hiding behind something. I wish that we all felt as though we could be completely "raw" and open with one another. Putting up the walls often leads to more insecurities and less communication. I suppose you do not have to be that open with everyone, but how wonderful would the world be if we could truly be who we want to be.....and not feel the need to hide. To not hide who we are, hide behind our secrets, not share the true depth of life and our hearts. Anyway, today, I was on the PostSecret facebook site looking through some of the pictures people submitted, and I came across this one and it spoke to me:

I really, really liked the message that this picture portrayed. If only we felt comfortable enough as a society to say I am done hiding behind a mask. I am done keeping my true feelings, hopes, dreams, thoughts, hurts, pains hidden. I want to be free.........I want to be me.....not judged...but accepted for ALL that I am.

I hope that most people view me as a non-judgemental person. I certainly try to portray this, supporting whatever decision someone makes. Now of course, if it is something that is going to hurt them......then I may intervene. But I really don't think there is anything that someone has told me in my entire life that completely shocked me and made me feel different around them. I like to be that solace for others. However, I wish that others felt this way too (in helping people). It saddens me that people feel so unaccepted......that they must either hide......or worst case end everything (the reason this PostSecret site was created).

So, all the irony in this is that I truly believe whole-heatedly what I have typed above.....but lately feel as though I have been hiding behind a bit of a mask. I have put on that smile even when it has been hard to. Sure, I have opened up to a couple of people....but sometimes life can be tough. But I guess I would also like to show you something that another person submitted to the site that portrays how I have been feeling lately:

For me, it has always been important to be the "strong" one.......I have felt that I have needed to for sooooo many different things that have happened in my life. But I have come to realize over the last few months.........I really am not as strong as I once thought (VERY hard revelation). Sure, it still hurts to write that.......as I prefer to be the strong one ALWAYS helping others. However, I must remember, and like to think that even through hard times......that maybe this phase and different things I am experiencing will one day help someone else. Help someone else not to hide behind that mask. Yes, I really do hope so........................ Because HOPE......it is something to live for!

Ohhh.....and for a small disclaimer.....even though I have struggles right now....if you are a friend reading this.....ALWAYS feel you can still come to me for comfort.......I am always here to listen!!! ;-)