Do you consider yourself a "strong" person? What exactly is strength? What defines strength? Is strength an always constant trait, or something that ebbs and flows in a person? Could strength to one person look like weakness in another? How does one become strong......is it innate within, is it learned or could it sometimes be forced?
How can two people go through the same life circumstance.....and one come through strong.....but the other falter or completely fall apart? Again, is it innate or learned over time (strength that is).......or do some people just not have the "strong" gene. Or, is our definition of strength (as a society) incorrect? Could that person, broken and in a time of weakness, actually be strong......just not "our" typical definition of strength???? Or, are we just suppose to have a "somewhat" balance of strength and weakness?
I want to be a strong person.....as I have not been feeling very strong lately (and I feel bad admitting that). Sure, there are times where I feel strong.......always learning......wanting to help others.....learning to work through "adversity." And sure, I have been told by some people that I am a strong person. However, there are times I feel completely weak........and just long to be that tower of strength. I picture a lighthouse in the middle of an ocean......tall, tough, strong, and beautiful in the midst of a storm. And waves.......tall waves, are crashing against that lighthouse. The waves will continue to crash, and after this storm finishes.....another will come along. However, that lighthouse still remains standing strong, perhaps only slightly weathered. But the point is........it is barely impacted by that fierce storm. I like that idea. ;-) I want to be like that lighthouse.
I want to "always" be strong, not only for me, but for others. I want to learn how to stand strong and tall at all times and not let the waves of life make a dent in me. I don't want to be easily weathered.....I want to be unmovable in the midst of the chaos.....standing tall no matter what happens. Why is strength important to me? Is it some kind of pressure I put upon myself? I mean I do not have people around me saying, "Amy you need to become stronger!" (at least not yet - ha). So why do I desire to always be strong? I not only want to appear strong, but I really want to feel strong. Why do I long to be strong? I actually like and take comfort (not in a mean way) when people actually show weakness (being authentic and perhaps vulnerable......with one another). I like connecting in those times.....or being encouraging to them......helpful...... However, I have often found that very few people are willing to do this.....allow themselves to be vulnerable. Hmmmmmm ........perhaps I am part of the problem! Yes, perhaps, but I have noticed in the recent few years I cringe at the thought of myself appearing weak. That doesn't mean that I have not been weak, or shared weakness. However, I like to appear that I always have it all together. Yes, perhaps I am part of the problem.........
Well, regardless.......I still want to be strong. Strong for so many reasons............
I sooooo prefer verbally processing with people rather than writing. Kind of ironic I have been blogging as of recent months.......
Have a good night!
Hmm. This is an interesting post to me because my analogy has always been the "lonely tree" that you see in the fields as you drive anywhere in Ohio. They're kind of all by themselves, and they stand through time,growing roots deeper and deeper no matter how much wind rain and snow they see. They're beautiful in their gnarled lonely strength.
ReplyDeleteI always thought of myself as the "lonely tree" the one that stood strong alone... and that was important to me, to have that sense of identity of being the one that was always strong. It was very hard for me to accept that when I first started having the anxiety issues, that I couldn't always be that pillar of strength.
Then it kind of dawned on me...that every edifice that's built to withstand stress in our world, whether it's the tree, the lighthouse or the tallest skyscraper, has to be built with a certain amount of give. The foundation settles,the floorboards creak, the branches wave...in unison with the things that crash or blow around it.
For me it was really important to recognize that part of strength is that give...and that GIVE to me is being able to say it's okay to bend a little when things are tough, to not always be strong. if your roots are deep and your foundation's solid you can still provide a light or shelter for others.
i guess i'm rambling :-) but i identified with your post!