Nonviolent Communication.......

So, I have this amazing friend Jennie whom is very wise! ;-) I like to listen and learn from her. She reads a lot (unlike me).......so I glean from her knowledge. But anyway, the other day while we were eating this yummy yogurt together at lunch, she was talking about this conference she and her husband will be attending on nonviolent communication. I intrigued, asked a few more questions......learning from her wisdom....and then she emailed me some links to the concept.

I shall provide you the link to this great article that begins to talk about it - http://www.cnvc.org/en/learn-online/nvc-chapter-1/nonviolent-communication-language-compassion

I LOVED reading about this concept. Now, let me preface by saying, I LOVE the concept but know that it would be really hard to put into action (the way to communicate and respond the way they are referring to, especially in difficult situations). For some reason, I feel like deep down this is kind of natural for me and how I want to respond.....but know that I do not always, well actually rarely practice it.

So, the "article" in the link I provided above begins with this quote:
“What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.”—Marshall B. Rosenberg
Now who wouldn't want this in their life? Well, I suppose maybe some people wouldn't.... But for those that wouldn't, is that a natural reaction? Or a reaction based upon what we have experienced in life that has broken us down.....and skewed our view of ourselves and others?

In his first paragraph he asks the following questions, "What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?" Surprisingly these are some questions I have pondered from time-to-time, so I love to hear that others wonder, care and research such topics. Often I try to take a step back, and in simple terms, wondering why someone would respond or react the way they did (again, I am speaking more about subtle, everyday interactions.....not violent crimes). I try to understand "where" that person may be coming from....what is currently going on (if I know) that may be causing them to respond to or treat others they way they do. Now, in his article he gives some very extreme examples......but it does really make you wonder and stand in awe of how strong some people are.

There were also lyrics to a song he provided on this site that I absolutely loved and thought I would share them (I do not know the song, but liked the lyrics).
I never feel more given to
than when you take from me —
when you understand the joy I feel
giving to you.
And you know my giving isn’t done
to put you in my debt,
but because I want to live the love
I feel for you.
To receive with grace
may be the greatest giving.
There’s no way I can separate
the two.When you give to me,
I give you my receiving.
When you take from me, I feel so
given to.
Song “Given To” (1978) by Ruth Bebermeyer from the album, “Given To.”

Now I greatly enjoyed the lyrics to this song and could resonate with it and feel this way in my relationships and those that are important to me. Now, I know I am going in a little different direction from the beginning of my blog. But after posting the above lyrics, the author went on to say, "When we give from the heart, we do so out of a joy that springs forth whenever we willingly enrich another person’s life. This kind of giving benefits both the giver and the receiver. The receiver enjoys the gift without worrying about the consequences that accompany gifts given out of fear, guilt, shame, or desire for gain. The giver benefits from the enhanced self-esteem that results when we see our efforts contributing to someone’s well-being." This is often how I feel in life, especially when I think of those friendships/relationships that are important to me. I love to give, and often when someone "gives or shares" from the heart with me.......it fills me. Hmmm...not sure I am making sense....but it is making sense in my mind. ;-) I love to connect....and when others genuinely connect, my heart feels full.

Anyway, take a look at the site, it is pretty interesting. I am about to reserve the book at the library to try and learn a bit more.